I just scheduled a meeting with the district’s director of intervention services, and then we have an IEP meeting the next week. Right now, I’m at a conference on undergraduate STEM education. Excuse me while I hunker down, do my job and prepare for my meetings. If nothing else, that’s lots of blog fodder.
Treat teachers as professionals: They have a degree in their field, often a MEd and additional certifications. Even if you feel the teacher is failing your child, all communication is with respect and deferential to the teacher’s expertise. That doesn’t necessarily mean that the teacher is the expert on your child. It’s certainly appropriate to explain disabilities, personality quirks, and other features that are unique to your child.
Assume that teachers have your child’s best interest at heart. They do. They may have different priorities for your child, but they are acting in what they view as your child’s best interest at heart. Even if you have evidence to the contrary, set your demeanor to be one of respect and acknowledging of your child’s teacher and her goals for your child. Having both these rules, teachers are professionals and teachers have my child’s best interest at heart as part of your mindset will make all advocacy easier, as the teacher is less likely to see you as a pushy parent and more as a concerned parent. That teacher is then much more likely to include you and your perspective as part of your child’s educational team. Always speak positively about your child’s teacher in front of your child. Wow, this one can be hard. Particularly in the early grades, all advocacy on behalf of your child should be as behind-the-scenes as possible. Have conversations between you and your partner after bedtime. When your child complains about a teacher (or complains about school in which you identify the source of the issue to be the teacher), help your child see all parts of the situation, including the teacher’s perspective. By all means give your child tools to self-advocate (hmmm, that should go on my list of upcoming topics – an important set of skills to teach as your child heads towards independence), but never say, “Mrs. Smith is a bad teacher,” or anything that could translate like that in your child’s head. Burn no bridges: I’ve got two kids. Between then, I’m spending 8 years working with our local K-5 school, and it’s teachers, aides, and administrators. Thank goodness we had a change in principals after our third year with the school, because it gave us a fresh start. Errors in advocacy I made when my daughter was in 2nd grade, however, impacted my son when the school was looking to move him into first grade part way through kindergarten. For many reasons, the best option would have been to move him into the class headed by my daughter’s 2nd grade teacher. That teacher said no. We were given a different excuse, but I’m 99% sure that the teacher said she didn’t want to work with me again. My son’s acceleration was impacted because of bridges I’d burned in ineffectively advocating for my daughter with that teacher several years previously. |
AuthorSTEM Prof. Mom of 2 extraordinary kids in public school. @StemMomAdvocate Archives
May 2014
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